Posted on Health Hoodoo Hustle – April 14, 2025
Last week, I shared “Breaking the Procrastination Spell: The Science & Magic of Getting Things Done” where we explored the psychological foundations of procrastination and evidence-based strategies to overcome it. The response has been overwhelming, with many of you sharing your own procrastination stories in the comments.
Today, I’m getting more personal. I want to reveal a connection I’ve discovered in my own procrastination journey – one that might resonate with many of you who, like me, find themselves caught in cycles of delay despite knowing better.
Standing at the Crossroads
For years, I struggled with putting off important projects and schoolwork – things I genuinely wanted to accomplish. The pattern was frustrating: I’d set goals, create plans, and then mysteriously find myself doing everything but the work that mattered most.
Then I found myself at a critical crossroads. I was drowning in deadlines when a friend asked for help with something I would typically drop everything to assist with. Without hesitation, I declined.
Later, reflecting on this interaction, I realized something profound. While I felt that familiar twinge of guilt, I wouldn’t have changed my answer. This was new territory for me. In that moment of being overwhelmed, I had chosen a different path – protecting my time and priorities without the usual internal struggle.
And that’s when it hit me: I was standing at the intersection of two powerful forces in my life: my procrastination and my people-pleasing tendencies were not separate issues but deeply interconnected roads I’d been traveling simultaneously.
Two Paths Converging: Where Helping Others Becomes Self-Sabotage
As I mentioned in last week’s article, procrastination often stems from emotional regulation challenges rather than time management issues. Standing at my personal crossroads, I realized the specific emotion I was avoiding wasn’t fear of failure or perfectionism – it was the discomfort of disappointing others.
Looking back, the pattern became clear. When important self-directed projects piled up, I would mysteriously find myself:
- Volunteering for additional responsibilities
- Saying yes to social engagements I didn’t have time for
- Dropping everything to help others with their emergencies
- Prioritizing everyone else’s needs above my own deadlines
These weren’t just random distractions – they were socially acceptable escape routes that came with bonus points for being helpful. By filling my schedule with other people’s priorities, I created the perfect excuse for not tackling my own challenging work.
The irony? I was using people-pleasing as a form of self-sabotage.
The Permission of Crunch Time
Remember how in “Breaking the Procrastination Spell” we discussed how external accountability often works better than self-imposed deadlines? This explains why “crunch time” became my ally in disguise.
When time becomes scarce, priorities crystalize. What I’ve discovered is that deadline pressure gives me permission to be direct. The conversation shifts from:
“I don’t want to help you” (which feels selfish)
to
“I can’t help you, and here’s the proof” (which feels justified)
In those moments, saying no doesn’t feel like a choice – it feels like a mathematical necessity. The guilt dissolves because I’m not rejecting someone’s request – I’m simply acknowledging the limitations of physics and time.
Choosing a New Path: Building on Scientific Strategies
Last week, we explored implementation intentions and the Pomodoro Technique as science-backed approaches to beating procrastination. Standing at this crossroads, I’ve discovered that checklists provide similar benefits specifically for people-pleasers like me:
- Visual accountability – Seeing everything I’ve already committed to accomplishes what I discussed in our “external accountability” section last week
- Reality-based boundary setting – Estimating hours needed for each task helps me see when the math doesn’t work, giving me that “crunch time clarity” without waiting for a crisis
- Priority reinforcement – Checking items off creates momentum and reinforces that my goals deserve attention too
The simple act of documenting my commitments gives me the same “proof” I previously only felt during last-minute crunches.
Adding Magic to the Science
In our previous article, we talked about creating positive associations with tasks to overcome procrastination. For recovering people-pleasers, I’ve found we need to extend this practice to boundary-setting itself.
I now celebrate moments of healthy “no” just as much as completed tasks. Each boundary becomes evidence that I’m breaking the people-pleasing spell that has fueled my procrastination for so long.
Your Turn: Finding Your Own Crossroads
I’d love to hear if this intersection resonates with any of you. Have you found yourself at a similar crossroads where your procrastination meets your people-pleasing? Which path did you choose, and what helped you navigate that decision point?
Building on last week’s discussion, perhaps we can develop a holistic approach that addresses both the science of task completion and the magic of emotional clarity around our own priorities.
Share your thoughts in the comments below, and let’s continue unraveling the complex web of procrastination together.